Recovering from My Own Wedding... A Week Later!

For this week, I'm going to write from the point of view of a Groom. You know the deal, the lost, kind of scared guy at a wedding? Oh yeah, that was me. Wow. Its been a week already, and I'm just now starting to recover!

For anyone who is keeping score, I got married on Friday, 17 March, 2006, which is also St. Patrick's Day. So, hopefully, that will be easy to remember!

Julie, my ever patient and long suffering Bride, has been Blogging her experiences during the planning of the wedding. Check it out here: http://greenbliss.blogspot.com/ . Green Bliss. Yeah, that pretty much covers the experience! We had green beer and pizza at the reception. People came from far, far away. I actually held a small poll during the reception, a show of hands to see who came just for the beer and pizza, and from the response, I'd recommend you all try something like that.

I'd also like to comment a little bit, which is about all I'm qualified to really comment on a wedding, when it really comes right down to it, being the groom, you know... Things were going really well, from a planning point of view. At least, we thought they were, right? The problem with planning your own wedding, is its usually the first time you've ever done it, and for many people, the first big project of any sort they've ever planned.

Now, in our own situation, we compounded our confusion because, as a person who photographs other peoples weddings, I came to the planning thinking I knew what was going on. I might actually know a thing or two, and that's not really even the issue. The problem, I think, is I know what a well planned wedding looks like, through the lens. I also have seen weddings that I felt were maybe not so well planned. But it looks very different from the inside. It would be sort of like being on the outside of a building, and trying to tell people on the inside that the house is on fire or something. Now mind you, our wedding really did go well. I'm really happy that everyone came, that we had lots of help, and it seems people had a good time. What am I trying to say? Oh, did I mention I'm still recovering from the wedding? :) I also am almost finished with my spring cold, so I'm not always sure if the the symptoms are Wedding or Fever related!

Anyway, a few days before the wedding, from my point of view, the level of chaos went way up. Not exactly a bad thing, but it was kind of scary. There were Aunts from out of town, my Mom from Canada, my step mom and step sister who live here in town, and the usual related well wishers and helpers all descended on our little house. And me, like a retard, I decide to wash my van, inside and out, a few days before the wedding, hoping to help keep that white dress clean. It was really nice and warm that week, but of course, its still March, so I get a spring cold. I had a pocket full of cough drops for the wedding ceremony, but thankfully I didn't really lose my voice until a couple of days later, when it didn't matter so much. I did spend the next week with a fever, but I think I'll survive :)

My word to the Brides out there... be gentle, we mean well! We really do! My word to the Grooms out there, no matter what you think, anything you do to help at this point, while it may seem heroic to you, you're just way out of your league here! Stick to manual labor, and defer to any aunt or mother in range when it comes to any judgment calls.

Of course, its all worth it, right? It just seems sometimes like, well, its a lot of work, for a whole year sometimes, and its over in a few hours. Just hope someone got some good video or photos!

Oh, speaking of which, want to see?http://www.ncwvideo.com/gallery/2006_03_17_Comm/
Special thanks to Braden who took our engagement photos, and Linda who shot the pics of Julie's bridal shower, and also our formal pics a the wedding and reception. I'll also be posting any shots that other people email us, and also some shots from the video when I get a chance to edit it. Hopefully soon!

I will try to post more about the wedding later, before I forget. People have told me there is just so much that happens, you can't really absorb it all. We had a small wedding, really, and it still felt like being in the eye of a storm.

Thanks to everyone who helped. Wow. I guess that means I'm Married Now! :) Yipee!

When the PANIC sets in....

I've seen it happen, and it isn't pretty!

I think its sort of like an instinct or something. Perfectly rational people become completely insane the closer they get to their wedding date. The last few days are the worst.

If you've ever read one of those wedding planning books, you've noticed there are guidelines, checklists, and charts going into complete detail about when you should have each thing done. Most brides believe, with total confidence, in these books. They carry them everywhere. They stop in the middle of a conversation and consult the book. I actually had to look at one; I thought maybe there was a horoscope in there or something. Maybe there is, I couldn't make much sense of it. I think Brides speak in a different language. Strange words, like Periwinkle and Tulle. But I'm going off topic here. The book never lies, it knows all, it tells the truth. So, why is it that in the last 2 weeks, a bride will suddenly lose the faith? Right there in front of her is the checklist. It’s checked. Favors have been decided on, and partly assembled. Ribbons cut, paper doilies looking like a blizzard. Now is NOT the time to start coming up with new ideas! Maybe you have enough time to fix something major that has fallen apart like a major vendor dying or something. But why start changing things?

I'm starting to think a Bride should go through a Military Strategy class, or at the very least have been a Brides maid or Maid of Honor at least once, before she is allowed to be a Bride. It’s truly insane. The bride has to be pretty, will spend weeks finding the perfect dress, she'll go for a Practice Hair day, maybe a practice makeup day, get a year membership to the gym (might even go?) do tanning, teeth whitening, laser peel, Botox, and pluck, prod, and other things that must be torture in more civilized countries. While all this is going on, she is also coordinating a feast for thousands, arranging decorations, entertainment. Logistics and transportation, lodging, keeping family members separated according to levels of intoxication or religious beliefs. If this were a Union event, it would be a whole team of Teamsters. They would Strike! But no, she has to do it HERSELF! I mean, come on, who could trust this to a Mother or Aunt?

The Groom, of course, if he is smart, will be very quiet the last month. He might even try to leave the country. He might get a hair cut the month of the wedding. Will probably shave the week of the wedding. He'll spend more time washing and waxing the car, so the shaving cream won't stick to it! Day of the wedding, he'll probably shower, put on the tux, and sit around bored for 4 hours, say his 3 lines, get a kiss for his trouble, then try to make it through the reception without looking like a dork to all his friends. And he’ll be very proud of himself for showing up on time! What’s all the fuss about anyway?

In the end, no matter what happens, if you both still want to, they almost always will let you sign that license and go home together. It won't matter if the Tulle is Periwinkle, or the punch is red when you wanted green, or your uncle messed up the Congo line. That is actually the funny thing. A year of planning, and its over so fast you almost miss it. Hope someone got it on video! Because I can tell you, you won't remember most of it!

Lets face it, by the time you get good at this, it’s way too late. By the end of the honeymoon, you'll have repressed most memories, and be mostly useless to the next generation.

Don’t believe me? Drop me a line AFTER the wedding and we’ll compare notes!

Thanks for reading!
Carlin